Just Because You're Good at Something Doesn't Mean You Have To Do It

I once gave a keynote speech on this topic at a marketing conference. I’m not a marketing expert—which is exactly why they hired me. They wanted their final speaker to talk about anything other than marketing, and they told me I could choose whatever I wanted. At the time, I was questioning whether I was truly happy with the things I was doing in my life or if I was just doing them because I was good at them.

Speaking of, I’m really tired of un-fucking situations. Don’t get me wrong—sometimes, I enjoy it. I like the challenge of having to think on my feet, sharpening a skill set you only get in extreme situations. But the amount of adversity I’ve faced over the last few months? Enough to make me want to pack up, disappear into the woods, and live like a hobbit.

Am I Good at Dealing with Adversity? Yes. But Do I Want to Be?

It hasn’t all been doom and gloom. In fact, I have a post saved from February 18th titled How to Restore Your Faith in Humanity. I started writing it on a plane after working with a group of young people in Los Angeles. I hope to finish it one day, but right now, I feel like I need to get past this moment before I can write about hope.

That post came from a realization: I’m really good at dealing with adversity. But is that a good thing?

I approach most things in life with a “Yes, and…” because, if we’ve learned anything, it’s that life is rarely black and white. On one hand, being able to navigate chaos means I rarely freak out, which has helped me (and others) through some pretty precarious situations. On the other, constantly dealing with stress takes its toll.

Good: I’ve done enough work processing adversity that I don’t take things personally or assume they’re happening to me. I also try to stay self-aware enough to recognize when I’ve created adversity for myself.

Bad: I’ve learned how to shut off emotions when I can’t cope, to the point where I’m only half joking when I say, “I’m dead inside.”

Auto-Pilot & Exhaustion

We all go into auto-pilot mode—part of being a cog in the system of this rat race we call life. But it’s a strange thing when your default mode is constantly pivoting and fixing things. That’s where I am right now.

Some of these challenges have been out of my control. But if I’m being honest, I know I could have made things easier for myself by saying no more often. Then again, I also made some decisions for financial reasons, and even though they didn’t pan out the way I planned, they led to unexpected good things. Life is messy like that.

This constant pivoting, shifting, adapting—it’s exhausting. I feel worn down not just by my own life, but by everything happening around us. My faith in humanity gets lost and restored daily.

I’m usually really good at staying positive in times like this, but here’s the thing:
Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you have to do it.

And right now? I’m tired of being positive. I’m tired of having to overcome things. I’m tired of things feeling unfair, and I’m tired of dealing with things outside of my control.

The Things That Keep Us Grounded

It’s times like this that I’m not great at taking care of myself or doing things that bring me joy. Like writing. Which is ironic, because even writing this makes me feel better. Writing is my main creative outlet right now, but lately, I start things and stop because I don’t have the energy to finish them.

I’m the first to preach about self-care, especially during intense emotional times or heavy work seasons. But, as my good friend Doc says, “We all have opportunities to be hypocrites.”

I think we all need to make space for at least one of the following:

• A Creative Outlet – Make Art

• Moving Our Bodies

• Getting Outside

For me, the creative outlet is always the first to go. I work out because I’m paid to, and let’s be real—that’s how I avoid committing actual murder. Getting outside is easy enough since I work downtown and have a big yard.

But making art? I think it’s more important than ever for our mental health. That’s why it’s a big part of my festival, Connect Beyond, which is coming up in just three weeks. I’ve hired seven artists to create interactive projects where the audience can contribute. The project is called Paddling the Same Canoe—because really, aren’t we all in the same boat?

I wanted to challenge artists to collaborate while also giving people from all walks of life a chance to be creative, to connect through art.

We’re All Creative. Life Is Creative.

I hear people say all the time, “Oh, I’m not a creative person.” I don’t believe that.
We’re all creative, because life itself requires creativity. Life is about making all the pieces of ourselves fit together.

Life is beautiful and frustrating. I have so many good moments. And I’ve had several shit sandwiches lately, too. Both are true. And both need to be acknowledged.

Apparently, my astrological chart is full of retrogrades and cosmic fuckery right now. My dear friend Christa tells me that this next week is going to be intense (yay, can’t wait!). But then, there’s supposed to be a rebirth—which is funny, because my birthday is next Sunday. Talk about timing.

For now, I’m going to lay low and try not to add to the intensity. My goal is to power through to April 5th and 6th, when I can finally get creative with my community, celebrate our small victories (I’m teaching a workshop on this!), and have meaningful connections and conversations.

Because I need to fill my cup.

But first? I need to rest.

All images in this post are from Wizzard (@golden_frog_inn) and I highly recommend following.