Equal Parts Devastation and Determination

“Never underestimate the power of a small group of committed people to change the world. In fact, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Here’s what communication has looked like the last 10 days.

One day blurs into the next. It’s taken me three days to finish this, though I started on Saturday, October 5th, the day that was supposed to be my wedding.

While I’m not getting married, I am taking a mental health day. My cortisol levels have been spiked for days. I know many of you can relate—it’s like drinking four cups of coffee but still feeling exhausted. Each day, you feel more drained but still wake up with a jolt. Everything feels urgent. So much needs to be done, and people desperately need help.

On Saturday, I sat in my backyard, watching The Golden Girls while writing this. That show is my comfort food. Charlie, my future husband, recently surprised me by installing a TV by the pool. I had joked that I’d know I “made it” when I had a TV to watch football poolside. So, he made it happen. Can you see why I want to marry this guy?

We finally have internet and cell service. Some people are still on day 10 with no power, water, or communication. The reality of this disaster is setting in, but we still don’t know the full toll. People I know are missing—not well, but well enough to know they’re good people.

There are efforts happening all over town, with details changing minute by minute. Communication is slow. We live by the two daily press briefings, hoping for new information, good news, or at least a timeline—anything that might bring normalcy. But deep down, we all know there's no going back to the way things were. Sometimes, hope feels like a dangerous drug.

These last few days have been a whirlwind of emotions. My phone buzzes constantly with texts and calls, which sometimes go through, and other times I wake up to 17 messages. People call me to solve problems, and I try to prioritize the most impactful, urgent ones.

I believe we all have gifts to give the world. Mine is connecting people. After 20 years in the music industry and various other fields, I know people in all sorts of places. When someone needs something, I can usually make a few calls and get it done. Lately, that’s meant learning how to source IV bags and medical oxygen.

I’ve been working on short- and long-term funding for the creative community. We’re lucky to have Katie Cornell leading ArtsAvl. She’s smart and capable, and I love working with her. On Thursday, she let me shower and do laundry at her place. Her husband made us snacks and vodka tonics while we worked on getting more donation channels open. For two hours, life felt a little normal. I met Katie’s husband, William, during jury selection earlier this year. He’s retired, loves the music industry, and has a great sense of humor.

At one point, William had a vodka tonic in one hand and a leaf blower in the other. I pointed at him and said to Katie, “Tell me you’re retired without telling me you’re retired.” She laughed.

After doing a load of laundry, I started to gather up the rest. William told me to leave it, saying he’d bring it to the studio the next day. There are benefits to having retired friends—there are only so many leaves to blow.

When I got home, Charlie had been skating with friends. He came back with a case of White Claw and a bag of ice. Not exactly what I imagined for my wedding day, but here we are. I dumped the laundry on the couch and started folding. I’ve never been so excited to fold laundry in my life. Clean clothes feel like a small victory. Charlie noticed, saying it was nice to see me happy for a change. We’re learning to appreciate the little things, like having clean underwear, and I realize how much we take for granted.

Anxiety wakes me up early every day, my mind racing with what I can do to help others. I think about who is making the most impact and how I can support them. It feels like Covid all over again, especially for those in the arts and hospitality industries. We keep calling it the pandemic instead of a natural disaster.

Most mornings, I lie there debating whether to get up or try to squeeze in more rest. Sleep is crucial right now. My alarm is set for 6:30, but I’m up at 6:10. That’s good enough.

Here’s the ugly truth: I wear contacts every day, and my body wakes me up because it’s time for my morning constitution. That means I have to poop for those of you that don’t know. I want to put my contacts in before I poop because I have this fear that I will get pink eye right now because I cannot wash my hands as well as I want to with no running water. I’m still washing my hands really well, but my hands are not under hot running water with soap. I put my contacts in while also strengthening my root chakra. That one I’m not explaining that one, you’ll have to look it up. Also, file that under Tell Me You’re From Asheville Without Telling Me You’re From Asheville.

Friday morning, I headed to the studio, exhausted. I needed to make a list of what had to get done. In addition to everything here, I’m working with a youth apprenticeship program in California called WorkWonder. We help high schoolers from underserved communities gain paid work experience. I work with them on event production and planning and arts, media, and entertainment but they get experience in a variety of fields.

In addition to that, I am producing a conference with them, a day of personal and professional development while continuing to to provide opportunities for growth for the over 1400 alumni that have been through the program. We recently put out the call to hire a few alumni to help me with all of this. In one week we received over 90 applications to fill 3 positions. My client, June Bayha, is the mastermind behind this program. She has become a dear friend over the last year and a half and I am grateful that she lets me be a part of the work. The weekend prior to the storm I went through all 97 submissions because I felt I owed it to each of them to read them. This is some of the most meaningful work I have ever done and the whole program is designed with youth for youth and it is a great privilege to work with these kids. They honestly gave me faith in humanity.

I’m organizing an event on October 14th, discussing issues relevant to young people, like gun violence and climate change. We’ll explore how political policies are shaped and reformed, and why down-ballot positions matter. I need to get back to this work—it feels important, especially now. Also, I really feel like I want to scream at some elected officials right now so this feels like a way to get young people mobilized to create impact. I wanted to make sure part of my day went to picking up where I left off in life before this disaster.

But for five days straight, my phone hasn’t stopped. People are checking in or asking for help. Others want to do a benefit concert, but the timing feels off. Emotions are still so raw. People are still missing. We need to give the community time to heal and safely gather before planning something big.

In the middle of all this, I’m still trying to find help for my mom. Since my first post I’ve had a number of people reach out to try and find me someone. A number of my Mars Hill University Theatre people had connections to nurses and were trying to help. I was waiting for calls.

Another friend sent me a screen shot of a text from a someone who was willing to go and check. I really wanted someone to go see her, take her vitals and level of dehydration and either give her fluids or tell her the medical advice to go to the ER. I finally find some time to make the call to this woman who is a friend of a friend. I spend 25 minutes going into explicit detail with this person about my mom’s health. She says she is right near where she lives and can go by her house after she picks up her son. And then I say, “Amazing, do you have IV fluids you can bring and administer to her if she seems like she needs them?” And she says, “Oh no, I’m sorry, I work in marketing. I’m not a nurse.” My heart sank. I explain that I really thought she was a medical professional and no offense, but if I send someone in marketing to my mom’s house she’s going to think I lost my mind. This woman is as stubborn as a mule hence why I need a professional to assess her. I was so, so disappointed. This was the one personal thing I needed to take care of and I cannot get that 30 minutes of time back.

I was utterly defeated. She said she would help me find someone. She texts me a screen shot of a volunteer nurses group in East TN and a number of a place to call for a home health care worker. I look at the number and can’t imagine having to explain all this again. I am looking for a way to get help without having to know what kind of insurance she has or who her doctor is. I search for the Facebook and go to join. It’s private. I will have to wait to be let in. I shift my focus to answering messages and making connections to get shit done.

I finally had to head home because a friend was driving in from Nashville with supplies and staying with us. To say the house was a mess is an understatement. Three dogs, no water, and no power had left the place in bad shape—dirty dishes on the porch and disgusting floors. I hated it, but there wasn’t much choice. I still hadn’t talked to June about the upcoming event, but I figured I could clean and chat with her at the same time. I vacuumed, mopped, and cleaned the kitchen while setting up to wash dishes by the pool.

Charlie came home from skating with friends, after spending the day cutting down trees with our friend Nick, who was going to officiate our wedding. He’s used to me multitasking—talking on the phone and cleaning—and I stayed on the call with June for another 45 minutes before finally being able to relax and be present.

We talked about our day, and I told him Sean and his friend would be arriving around 10. I had just put clean sheets on our bed since the dogs had wrecked the spare room. Charlie and I joked about well-meaning people, discussing how good intentions don’t always go as planned. I also told him how I hadn’t figured out the situation with my mom yet.

Just as I was checking my phone, I got accepted into a Facebook group I had joined for help. I posted about my mom, explaining what I needed, and within minutes my phone blew up. The first call came from a nurse named Cindy, who offered to check on my mom. Soon after, I got texts from others, including a neurosurgeon. Overwhelmed with relief, I started sobbing. Charlie took over my phone and updated the post while I pulled myself together. I had felt like I failed to take care of the one personal thing weighing on my mind, and the response was such a relief.

There are more details I could share, but the weekend overall involved spending time with friends, handing out peppers from my garden as “wedding gifts,” and crying over the losses we’re all feeling. Survivor’s guilt is real, especially for those of us whose homes are still standing. Sunday was the first time I went anywhere unrelated to disaster relief. I had to ask Charlie if the grocery stores even had food. I gave some friends who were on day 10 without water or power a place to recharge, cooked smash burgers, and served store-bought cake as my “wedding cake.”

Here’s the current efforts I’m working on this week and support we could use. For my local people who are reading this, please comment below if you can shed additional light on them.

LONG TERM SOLUTION FOR FLUSHING TOILETS -

We need these water tanks. Right now there are bucket brigades going into high density housing to flush toilets. It’s hard, hard work and we need a better plan for long term. We are not anticipated to get working water fully back until November. I went to put some effort to figuring something out and it’s not surprising that a group of capable people were already on it. So I am supporting their efforts. If you can get these here, I can get connect you to where they need to go. Please email me at jessica@echomountain.net.

EDUCATION AND GATHERING FOR OUR YOUTH -

The situation for kids and parents is dire. As of Monday, October 7th, more than 67,000 people are still without power. Imagine being on day 11 with no power, water, or cell service, trying to care for your kids. Schools won't reopen for some time, and with the area already behind in literacy, this is a huge concern.

I’m shifting focus to help those figuring out solutions for kids in our community. While I don’t have the expertise to set up a school in a disaster zone, I’m sure someone does. If you know anyone with this experience, please let me know. My role is to support those dedicated to helping youth, and I’m here to stay in my lane and offer assistance where it’s needed.

If you know someone who has helped to open schools while still in recovery from a disaster, please email me at jessica@echomountain.net.

ARTIST SPACE -

Our creative community is one of the things that makes this place so special. So many artists lost all of their art and their studios. I’m so afraid that so many of the people that make Asheville special will leave. I wonder how many people that are friends of mine are already gone and I don’t even know it yet. That hurts my heart. It’s a thing I haven’t even thought of until now and once again I’m fighting back tears. We need spaces that people can work on. I’m already in discussions with one of the largest land owners in downtown to help. I hope to have some options this week. If you have a place that artists can work, please let me know. I plan on creating a form that people can fill out if they have a space available and once I do, I’ll link it here. In the meantime, please email me at jessica@echomountain.net.

FOR OUT OF TOWN PEOPLE

Do not show up without a fully thought-out plan to help—you’ll only add to the problem. A friend of mine realized this when I explained that while his visit was stressful, I had asked him to bring personal items, so it was okay. But housing out-of-town people with no running water was extra pressure.

I heard of a food truck from Florida that showed up to help but didn’t coordinate and had no place to set up. Perhaps if they had reached out to World Central Kitchen or another organization already here and serving food, they could have been more effective. Or they could of bought food through Equal Plates Project who are paying local farmers to provide food for people. Our farmers have also lost their customer base as restaurants have been wiped out.

This recovery will take a long time. Many of the people working on the ground are under unsustainable stress levels. At some point, we’ll need others to step in. Organizations like Beloved are well-prepared, so if you want to help, volunteer through established groups. Be patient—they’re overwhelmed, and getting frustrated with them shows a lack of understanding of the situation.

VOLUNTEER HEARTS WITH HANDS

VOLUNTEER BELOVED

EMAIL helenevolunteers@buncombecounty.org

OFFER A BIT OF RESPIT TO SOMEONE -

If you or someone you know has an AirBnb out of town (or in town with water, electricity, and internet) consider offering it for free to someone who is here. Please remember people have pets. I say this as several friends have offered us a place to stay until they find out I have 3 dogs. Let me be clear that I do not need a place to stay. I am busting ass this week and then I get a reprieve when I get to go to Charlotte this week to speak at the Confluence Music Conference. I will get two days in a hotel room and if I can just hold on until then, I’ll be alright. Also, I get to go on a honeymoon next month so I have a decent break happening in a month. I’d rather stay here and work until then.

SHARE, SHARE, SHARE -

There’s a lot of misinformation and conspiracy theories spreading, which isn’t helping anyone. Please correct these rumors whenever you can. For example, I heard from a friend that FEMA was confiscating supplies, which is absolutely false. People are working to record and share accurate stories, and I’ll share their accounts when they’re ready.

Many still don’t realize the scale of devastation. Even State Farm didn’t understand why they couldn’t send an adjuster; there’s nowhere for them to stay since hotels are closed or housing workers. Please help share these stories.

I’m working on supporting various funding options. Our tourism-based economy is in shambles, and people in hospitality and the arts have lost everything. We’re trying to bring in major funding, and I need those with large platforms to help spread the word and connect us to national news outlets. If you have media connections, please reach out.

FOR MY ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY PEOPLE-

I want to highlight what our friends, Manchester Orchestra, are doing. They created a poster to sell on tour, with all proceeds going to local relief efforts. They reached out to ask where to donate, which was amazing because they didn’t burden me with figuring out how to help—they just asked where to send the money.

This is a great model for others to follow. Auctioning off memorabilia works well too—I’ve had success using 32 Auctions, but there are other platforms to explore. Ideally, you handle the auction yourself and just ask where to donate the funds or choose a relief effort of your preference.

Consider getting creative, like hosting a poster design contest with your fans to raise awareness for our cause. Just throwing out ideas!

FOR MY PEOPLE IN TOWN -

Survivor’s guilt is real. Just because you have resources others don’t, doesn’t mean this isn’t traumatic for you. Every time I flush my toilet with water from a bucket, I feel guilty knowing many rely on volunteer brigades for this. If you left town, don’t feel bad—you need to take care of yourself too. As my therapist says, "Even the lighthouse needs to go down for maintenance."

If you're in town and have water, help by doing laundry or dishes for someone who doesn’t. Clean clothes or dishes can make a huge difference. Setting up dishwashing systems or helping organize homes for frontline workers is also a big help. Life is so disrupted for us and helping those be able to come home to a clean house, stocked fridge, or a dishwashing set up is clutch.

Ideally I would like to create a way for people to say they need help and people who would like to help. I was working on a similar Ask and Offer project for people with neurological disorders before this and wish I would have had it all together before this hit because it would work for this exact situation. I’ll see if I can make a form for these too.

Here’s a photo of my friend Megan helping me do dishes. The first bin has soap for washing, the second one is plain water to rinse, and the third one has a cap of bleach for sanitization. When the wash water gets really dirty dump it out. Move the rinse water to be the wash station and add soap. Move the bleach water to be your rinse water and then make a fresh sanitizer bin with water and a cap load of bleach. If you have some Burner friends, they are good ones to ask for support.

Some people still have to go to work, even without power or water at home, and their work hours often overlap with meal and resource distribution times. If you have friends in this situation, consider stopping by World Central Kitchen and grabbing meals for them. Pack them in a cooler so they have something ready when they get home.

Don’t feel guilty about taking water or supplies. Many are leaving supplies for those in greater need, which is good, but right now there’s plenty of bottled water available. If you don’t have water at home, it’s absolutely fine to take a case or two for yourself.

Also, I don’t want to add insult to injury, but this information came in from a friend who’s brother is stationed here in WNC right now with the National Guard.

“There is an emerging outbreak of the Noro virus currently in the western part of the state. If you are on SAD remember to wash your hands as regularly as you can don’t touch your face. If you have a mask go ahead and start wearing it and do not eat or drink anything if you don’t know where it came from.”

SAD means State Active Duty. As much as this sucks it’s something we need to be aware of. It’s so hard to wash our hands properly right now. Please take care of yourself.

Lastly, here’s a couple of places you can donate:

We’ve been digging our way out here but I am so, so worried about people outside of Asheville in more rural places. There are places in Fletcher and Bat Cave where people are sleeping outside or haven’t been reached because they are only reachable by ATV.

Rural Organization and Resilience - These folks are helping people in Marshall/Madison County.

Hearts With Hands - These folks are working with Next Level Disaster Relief to get to people in hard to reach areas.

Equal Plates Project - They need support to purchase from local farmers, acquire equipment to scale production, and donate thousands of meals in the coming 100 days.

There’s so much more I could add to this post but I need to stop. I need to get back to my phone and my emails and back to helping the helpers.

Much love to all of you. Just remember it’s okay to not be okay.