Be Kind To Your Future Self
Which means be kind to yourself now.
Josie living her best life.
What do you do solely for yourself?
This was the question my therapist recently asked me. She followed up with, “So much of what you do is for others—what do you do that serves you and only you?”
It was a good question. Service is my love language; I give to others because it fills me up, and I truly believe I get as much as I give. But her question made me pause and reflect: Am I making space for myself? Am I doing things purely for my own joy, not just for others?
Like so many of us, my own needs tend to fall to the bottom of the list. I’m often the housekeeper with the messy house, if you know what I mean. And that’s exactly why a good therapist is invaluable—they hold up a mirror and help you see what you might otherwise ignore.
So, I decided to use this moment of reflection to make a list—a personal inventory of things I do just for me. It’s a way to hold myself accountable. And, because I know I’m not alone in this, I want to share it with you. Maybe it will inspire you to think about what you do for yourself, or maybe we can swap ideas and help each other along the way.
Sleep
The only way I’m going to navigate the next two weeks, two months, and two years is by prioritizing quality sleep. Easier said than done, of course—so many of us struggle with this. But I’ve come to a simple yet undeniable realization: I cannot drink alcohol and get good sleep. It’s one or the other. If I choose to drink, I’m essentially borrowing against tomorrow for a fleeting evening of fun. So, it better be worth it. And sometimes, it is.
To set myself up for real rest, I stick to a nightly routine: stretching, sipping tea, and unwinding with something lighthearted. Small rituals, big impact.
Movement
Exercise is how I keep my sanity—and how I avoid strangling people. One of the reasons I became a personal trainer was to remove my own excuses. I can’t talk myself out of going to the gym if I’m literally paid to be there.
Beyond structured workouts, I try to build movement into my day. Any time I have to be on the phone, I take it outside. If someone suggests an in-person meeting, I ask if we can do at least part of it outdoors—walking, if possible, or at the very least, sitting in the fresh air.
Small choices, big impact. Because life isn’t about sprinting to the next thing—it’s about making sure you have the endurance to go the distance.
The Balance of Staying Informed While Staying Sane
Mental Health
It’s hard not to feel like the world is a dumpster fire right now. Life is just… a lot. Between the sheer volume of work on my plate, staying engaged in civic life, and keeping up with everything happening in the world, it often feels like too much.
I’ll admit—I’m a news junkie. But lately, I’ve been working on finding that elusive balance between staying informed and staying sane. Here are a few things I’ve started doing to keep from losing my mind while still feeling like I have a pulse on the world.
First, I’ve established two sacred no-news, no-social-media zones: my car and my bathroom. Yes, you read that correctly. And yes, you know exactly what I mean.
Laughter Is the Best Medicine
In my car, I’ve made a firm rule: no news, no doomscrolling—only music or audiobooks. To keep things light, I’ve been curating a playlist of books that make me laugh. Right now, I’m listening to David Sedaris’ Happy-Go-Lucky and Betty White’s If You Ask Me (And of Course You Won’t). Having these ready to go at all times means I have an instant antidote when I need to step away from the heaviness of the world.
Taking It Back to 1992
In the bathroom, I’m embracing an old-school habit—keeping short, engaging books within reach. These books make it easy to read anywhere from one to five pages, depending on... well, circumstances. And let me tell you, this small shift has made my life infinitely better.
Here’s what I’m currently reading:
The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows - A dictionary of made-up words for emotions that we all feel but don't have the words to express, filled with new definitions, illustrations, and etymologies.
Hell Yeah or No - Useful nuggets of wisdom! Simple profound mental models to guide your decisions. Themes include what worth doing, fixing faulty thinking, and making things happen . Examples: Be proud to be a slow thinker . Goals shape the present , not future.
Rest is Resistance - “A call to action and manifesto for those who are sleep deprived, searching for justice, and longing to be liberated from the oppressive grip of Grind Culture.” (Good reads)
No, But Laughter REALLY Is the Best Medicine!
I’ve made a conscious decision to cut all drama-filled friendships out of my life. Who needs that? Every time I hear about friendships that seem to exist in a constant state of delicate balance, I can’t help but wonder—why? Maybe some people just need a little chaos? Maybe they don’t have family members who already fulfill the drama quota? I don’t know… but I do know it’s not for me.
Instead, I choose to surround myself with people who have great laughs. You know the kind—the ones whose laughter is so contagious it sets off a chain reaction. The people who can make a room explode with joy just by losing it themselves. Those are my kind of people. And not only do I love being around them, I make it my mission to get them laughing.
Take my best friend from childhood, Jessica L.—or at least, that’s what people called her whenever we were together. Our entire friendship was (and still kinda is) built on making each other laugh until we literally pee our pants. And yes, that happened more times than I care to admit.
These days, Jess lives here in Western North Carolina, and while we don’t see each other as often—she’s married with three kids—we’re still deeply connected. A few years ago, I showed up to her house on Thanksgiving dressed as an old woman, introduced myself to her kids as her third-grade teacher, then proceeded to swig from a bottle of Tito’s and absolutely dominate them in a game of backyard football. In a dress.
Did I do it for the glory? No. I did it for the laugh. And maybe, just maybe, to make her pee her pants one more time.
Whenever I need a pick-me-up, I call Jess. And the best part? She almost always picks up. I’m fortunate to have many friends like Jess in my life.
Create Something
I spend so much of my time helping others make their art or supporting their creative work that I often forget to make space for my own. A few years ago, I picked up cross-stitching—not just as a creative outlet, but as a way to quiet my overactive brain.
I don’t just stitch any old thing. My cross-stitching is strictly reserved for subversive words and patterns. Is it a reflection of my dark sense of humor? Probably. And I love it.
Beyond the humor, there’s another reason why this practice is so important to me. So many of the projects I pour myself into—whether professionally or personally—are long-term. I don’t always see their impact right away. But with cross-stitching, there’s a clear beginning and a definitive end. It’s tangible, immediate, and deeply satisfying.
Sometimes, creating something—just for yourself—is exactly what you need.
Small and Mighty
The things I do for myself may seem small, but their impact is anything but. It’s easy to believe that self-care requires a grand gesture—a big trip, a major lifestyle shift, or some elaborate commitment. But for me, reframing it in a way that feels manageable has been a game-changer.
These small acts, done consistently, become habits. One habit I’ve built is stretching almost every night. Part of it is necessity—if I want to stay as active as I like, my body needs it. But the other part? It’s pure enjoyment. I love TV (really, I love stories), so I pair my stretching with watching something I enjoy.
At this point, it’s second nature. If I skip it, it feels like I’m letting myself down—not in a guilt-ridden way, but in the sense that I know I’m missing out on something that makes me feel good. Prioritizing this small ritual reminds me that I am a priority, and the reward? Waking up in the morning feeling a little lighter, a little more limber, and knowing I showed up for myself.
I’d love to hear about the things you do just for you. What helps you recharge, feeds your soul, or gets you out of your head?
For me, prayer unquestionably keeps me grounded and lets me focus inwardly. Prayer and reading are my jam.